delayedtoddler

I haven’t written much lately just because life has been hectic and I still don’t have my own computer.  Be that as it may, I had some good news to share today.  The girls both wanted to go outside today.  B wanted to go for a walk and big sister G wanted to play.  G came up with a good compromise–we would walk to the park behind the local school.  When we got to the park, it turned out that the Parks and Recreation for the region have a free play time there and there were a bunch of kids and some leaders playing games together.  G joined in with the games, but B wanted to do her own thing in the playground.  I pushed her on the swing for a bit and then she decided to see what there was in the leaders’ big bag.  She found a ball and when a little girl came up to her, B threw the ball at her (lucky she can’t throw very well yet!) and then said to the girl, “Throw it to me!”  I know that this doesn’t sound like something to be excited about, but trust me, it is!  Spontaneous play!  B actually started to play with another child with no prompting and it was someone she didn’t know.  She wasn’t playing beside this girl, she wanted to play with her. This is something she hasn’t done before except with her sister whom she just bosses around anyway.

I was so excited and there was no one I could turn to and say, “Did you see what she just did?  Did you see that?”  I had to tuck it away until I could talk later with my mom who was also excited by this little milestone.  I almost feel like we should be celebrating with a party or something–of course, B would have no idea as to why we were celebrating, but if there was cake, she’d be a happy girl.

We probably won’t go to the park tomorrow; instead, I’m probably going to bite the bullet and try to take her back to the library group.  Considering that the last time we went I left early, I’m a little frightened to see what tomorrow may bring.  I’ll let you know!

In my last post, I talked about getting out with your special needs child and being involved with other families and children.  My friend Quadmama at Buried in Laundry made a comment and inspired this post, so thank you, QM!

I truly believe it is important for our special needs kids to be treated as kids first. It’s so easy to get caught up in all the appointments and therapies that we almost naturally think of our children in terms of their diagnoses or what they can’t do. Really, they’re kids and a kid’s job is to play–that’s how they learn. And how better to learn than by playing with other kids? When children play with each other, they learn from each other. They don’t have to be special needs kids to get the benefit of playing with each other. When B plays with older children, they learn to be a little more patient. They also learn to follow orders because B is a little bossy Sometimes I need to interpret for her, but she’s slowly starting to interact with other children. While she’s watching or playing with other children, she’s using them for models too. She sees how other children react to things and sees what is hopefully socially acceptable behaviour to mimic.

I think it’s also good for us parents to get out there and socialize with other adults, whether they be parents or not. We need to have some time where we don’t have to be a special needs parent, we can just be a person with interests and friends of our own. Our whole lives cannot revolve around our children’s special needs. If they do, we will get burned out and could start resenting our children. I’m one to talk. I’ve been so busy with both kids on the go and working in the evenings that I haven’t seen my own friends for sometime. I’m happy to say that this Sunday morning, I’m going to get together with my girlfriends for a nice 10K walk. I know it sounds crazy, but we all met doing training walks for the Weekend to End Breast Cancer in 2005 and bonded in a way I have never experienced before. I’m going to catch up with them, find out what’s going on outside of my little world and have some great laughs with them. Can’t wait!!