delayedtoddler

That is what B’s appointment yesterday with the psychologist was.  It’s a really great thing I had gone in not expecting to get a diagnosis, because we most certainly did not receive one.  What we did get was about 5-10 minutes in his office while he looked at B playing and were basically told that she’s improved a lot, and we can expect a lot more improvements in the next 6 months.

Yeah, that’s it.  I could have told him myself that she has made some great improvements in the last 6 months and I don’t have a medical background!

To say that I am frustrated is a gross understatement.  I’m so mad right now, I could spit nails!  That was supposed to be worth my time?  My husband had to reschedule some work appointments so he could be there.  My oldest was sick, so we had to take her to my mother’s so we could make the drive there and sit and wait (yes, he had enough nerve to be late, even though we saw him come back in from lunch) only to sit there and be made to feel that I’m wasting his time.  He told us to come back in 6 months so we can tell him how well she’s doing…if we feel we need to.  I asked him point blank if he felt this was something she would grow out of and he didn’t give me a straight answer.   Really, what was the point?

So, back to the drawing board.  We go back to see her ped next month and I’m going to ask him for a referral to another psychologist.  I don’t see how we can go from “possibly mild autism or developmental delay” to “she’s going to make great improvements over the next six months”.  We’ll keep seeing the OT and SLP there because they are very helpful and seem to genuinely care about B.  They both saw her in the waiting room yesterday and made a point to say hi to her and talk with her (of course, B thought that meant she got to go to the thearpy room with all the toys and swing–she was disappointed).

*sigh*  so now we start again….

Ain’t Nobody Happy!  It’s a phrase I’ve heard before and agreed with to a point.  I don’t think my happiness is a determining factor in whether the whole family is happy–because trust me, those kids are sometimes ecstatic when I’m livid.  But I do think that Mama needs to take care of her own needs so that she can take care of the needs of her children (sorry, hubs, you’re on your own).

The past few weeks, I’ve been feeling just really lousy, tired, headachy, grumpy.  When I went to the doctor this week to renew a perscription, I talked to him about it and mentioned that I continued to have problems sleeping.  He asked me how many hours of sleep I get a night, and I said about 5 or 6 hours.  That’s when hubs chimed in that it is actually less.  What is the matter with me?  How did I ever think I could get by on less than 5 hours of sleep a night?  I know some people can, but I generally need 8 to be human.  Here I am, trying to work with B to help her with her speech and I can’t function at all because I’m exhausted!

So, I’m going to start making more of an effort to take better care of myself.  This means getting more sleep, eating better and getting exercise.  I’m not sure how I’m going to acheive this yet, but I figure if I start small, and keep going forward, I’ll be heading in the right direction.  Sleep is a real problem for me because I work in the evenings from 6pm-10pm.  By the time I get home, I’m wide awake and it takes me a while to wind down.  I go to sleep and then one or both of the kids ends up getting into our bed before dawn, waking me up in the process (although last night, B climbed over me and flopped herself down on daddy for a change–good girl!).  Hubs leaves in the morning for work usually around 8:30 or 9 and to his credit, he does try to let me sleep.  I’m going to try to get more exercise during the day so that I will be more tired at bed time.  I also like to use the Wii for boxing–a very good exercise and a stress releiver too (I’m hoping for the Fit for my birthday).  And eating better is just a matter of buying the right stuff and eating it.  Surely I can do that.  Maybe.    The important thing with all of this is that if I am feeling good, I’ll be better able to be alert and attentive with both girls, and especially with B because she requires a lot of patience.

Tomorrow we go for B’s reassessment.  I’ll let you know how it goes!